Here's one from April courtesy of Darkfrog24
that I've been meaning to put up but have been absent-mindedly forgetting.
"I can't believe this is how we're getting out of this."
"Oh shut up, you big pussy. I got us invited to the wedding didn't I?"
Kyle glowered at Billie. He glowered until he could glower no more, until his re-freckling nose turned pale red in reflection of his tacky polyester vest with matching cufflinks.
"And quit with the stinkeye!" snipped Billie.
"You didn't get us invited to the wedding, Billie," said Kyle. "You nearly got us killed and now we're serving as waiters in exchange for our lives. The professor sent us to steal the only Nintendo Revolution in existence but instead of snipping the security system and using brains and tact like I
wanted to do, you smash the glass of the entertainment system, trip the alarm and get us caught!"
"Which turned out to be a handy way to catch up with our buddies from the Henchmen's Union for Greater Good, Internationally Extended." Billie paused, eyes searching the inside of the tent roof. "Is there something wrong with that name or is it me?"
Kyle resisted the urge to bean Billie on the coconut with his champagne tray. "We weren't catching up with Bob. We were getting captured by him." Kyle covered his eyes with one-white gloved hand. "Maybe it's good that you're braindead," he said. "If you started blabbing about how Bob deliberately put us in a seemingly inescapable death trap with one obvious mode in escape then Doc Freestyle would turn him into a half-man, half-shark henchmonster for sure!"
"Cool!" said Billie.
"But then how could he get married
, Kyle? They've barely made it legal for gays, let alone mutated shark monsters!"
"Oh no," said Billie, "it would be a vivisected shark monster. You see, when you mutate something it means you change the DNE."
"DNA," said Kyle.
"That's what I said," said Billie.
Kyle banged his head against the ice sculpture.
"I know a dude who got stuck to one of those once," said Billie. "'Cept it wasn't his head that got stuck. And the ice wasn't shaped like a swan."
"Fuck you, Billie," said Kyle.
"It was shaped like a chick with a--"
"Fuck you in your nephrons, Billie!"